I’m not good at math.
That said, I feel smugly superior when I take a calculator and divide something by zero. The calculator all but explodes in my hands and I’m like, “What now, TI-89? You thought you were all that, but no – all it takes to bust a cap in your smug self is x-backslash-zero! Now you know how I feel. Heck, I can take a pencil and paper and make X over zero equal fish if I want! That’s how I roll.”
What, you don’t have conversations like that with your calculators?
What, you don’t have conversations with your calculators at all?
You are missing out, my friend. Nothing beats a caramel macchiato and a discussion of trebuchets and space elevators with a TI-89. Except, of course, for spelling ‘macchiato’ correctly on the first try. Boo ya.
For semi-serious, now.
Beyond merely confounding calculators, I like to metaphorically divide the universe by zero in regards to God.
Put another, simpler, saner way, I am a big fan of trying to understand something my brain is physically not capable of understanding. I like to try and comprehend just one corner of one aspect of one thing I know about God, and then explode that to try and glimpse a bit more of Him and His goodness.
How about a concrete example? That’d be great.
Try to remotely understand this one aspect of God: His love.
The God who created the universe, who designed everything from molecules to mole rats to molasses, who crafted billions of billions of people by hand, sent His one and only Son to suffer and die a shameful, painful death on a cross so that He could enjoy a relationship with YOU.
That is amazing, life-changing, unending, perfect love.
Now, if that weren’t enough, add this into your equation. God doesn’t only love you with that perfect love – He loves EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH that way.
If you listen quietly, you can hear a tiny ‘paff.’ That is the noise of my brain exploding out my ear.
I can’t even begin to understand how great and amazing God’s love is, because no matter how far my mind stretches to try and comprehend it, I am only capable of taking what I understand and projecting it to the nth degree.
And the truly awe-some thing about our God is that He is so much greater than the limits of our limits! When we think we’ve understood a little bit of His love, it’s like saying we understand a beach because we’ve examined a single grain of sand.
God is infinitely, infinitely more than we can understand! That is CRAZY amazing!
Whew. I think I need to take a break. My brain is exhausted from even thinking about this. This sensation you’re experiencing in your brain? That is what it feels like to have your mind boggled. You’ve been boggled. (That’s such an excellent word. Boggle boggle.)
In the mental exhaustion that follows dividing my mental universe by zero, I think of that one scene from the end of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original movie – the only one that matters).
You know the scene – where Mr. Wonka leans down and asks Charlie, “You know what happened to the little boy who suddenly got everything he ever wanted?”
Charlie, who has just been given his wildest dreams served to him on a silver platter with a cherry on top, leans forwards with a twinkle in his eye and asks breathlessly, “What?”
Mr. Wonka smiles down at him and says, “He lived happily ever after.”
God is so mind-bogglingly amazing, and trying to understand Him is absolutely impossible. But trying and failing to understand Him teaches me one thing – no matter how *whatever* my problems are, God is infinitely, infinitely bigger, better, stronger, and more powerful than them.
And, resting safe in that knowledge, I will live happily ever after.
On a side note, wow. These first two posts have been really long. I can’t promise they’ll all be like this – long, rambling, chock-full of heavy-revys…. But I hope whatever happens, God will be lifted high.
Maybe, despite my thoughts last post, I’ll be the only one to ever read this. Maybe this will be a long, love-letter/journal to God. Maybe not. But whatever happens, I hope and pray that whoever reads it – even if it is just me – will be brought closer to God through this whole process.
Well, I hate to leave this post feeling so unfinished, but reality is calling. It’s 1:02 on a Sunday night and I have schoolishness in five hours.
God, in all of this, your will be done.